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Climb every mountain

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Okay, this is a bit of a rant. It’s a loving rant but still a rant. My Beefcake, my beautiful, talented, intelligent Beefcake is actually a complete moron. He has a very good friend. I should say we have a friend but really, this guy is kind of annoying and he’s really been Beefcake’s friend for a long time. He lives far away in a European country with his lovely European wife and he is, like Beefcake, an unashamed nerd.

We were lucky enough to spend some time with them as a family, in said European country, last year and the nerds formulated a plan. Yes the idiots, I mean nerds, decided that, as they are both rather, full-figured gentlemen, they could show the world a thing or two. You see, lovely European wife and I had mentioned to two fuller-figured gentlemen that they could perhaps do with losing some weight and were in negotiations with them as to how this should happen when they came up with a brilliant idea. A documentary. A documentary made by them and entitled “Two fat bastards can climb Mt Everest”.

Now, fine, it sounds like an okay gimmick, could be done. However, their plan??? No training. Maybe a few practice runs at the local rock climbing wall, some laps around the block.

Seriously.

My moron of a husband and his brainless friend believe that two out of shape, middle-aged men can climb Mt Everest and not only survive but reach the summit. You may think they were joking. They were not. Beefcake has had a year to reassess his standpoint on this issue but no, he stands firm. He could do it, if he wanted, it would be easy. He’s a moron. But it’s alright, he’s way too lazy to do it anyway.

He just found out last week that his nerdy companion has lost all of his weight and is fighting fit. Plan ruined.

Beefcake stands firm, because, you know, he knows everything.

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