RSS Feed

Dreams of what could have been

Posted on

Today was just a whole pile of arse. Allow me to explain.

This month, my ever so nerdy and heroically hard-working Beefcake, earned a little bit of extra cash doing overtime. This was fortuitous as our two couches had both died in the last week or two. I don’t mean they were getting a bit old and scuzzy. Seams had come apart left, right and centre. The zips that held the cushion covers on had all broken, and, to top it off, Pudding had a little accident when he fell asleep one afternoon on the couch. As hard as I tried, I COULD NOT GET THE SMELL OUT!!!

So, on Sunday, we did the rounds of the furniture stores and found some seriously good options. We decided on leather for wipeability because, apart from the accidents, the children seem to make frequent small deposits of crapulence and scuzz. We were trying to decide between two options that were reasonably priced but thought we would check one last store……

…and there it was.

I spotted it as soon as I walked in. Angels sang. It was the perfect couch. Not just the perfect couch but two ONE OF A KIND couches and a beautiful oversized armchair, which would be mine. The perfect couches (and armchair) also happened to be less than half price, way better than everything else we had looked at and available to be delivered to us NOW!! I have to say, it was quite the exciting time.

We organised for the ONE OF A KIND suite to be delivered Wednesday as that was what suited us. We paid. We went home and measured. We planned, we giggled with glee and expectation.

This morning they called to say that our purchase would be with us between 10 an 12 . We cleared out the room, vaccumed, mopped, dusted, tidied the whole house and waited anxiously.

At 12:05 we got the call. They are very sorry, the perfect ONE OF A KIND couches (and armchair) were accidentally DOUBLE SOLD. They were delivered to someone else already. They are gone.

Needless to say, we went through a range of emotions. Most notably feeling regally pissed off.

They were prepared to offer us:

  1. A refund.
  2. A replacement from their store, which they would discount to a similar level.
  3. The same couches, at the same price, ordered from fucking Timbuktu or something because if we chose this option, we would recieve them in March. March people.

So obviously we didn’t choose option 3. At first we just asked for our money back, but you know what, if we get our money refunded to our account (cos we paid with card) it will take time for our bank to process that. Our bank has been known to take up to a week in some cases. If we don’t order something soon, we’ll never have it before christmas. We had already seen some things that were sold out until after christmas.

We called back. The long and the short is we went to their store and, while everything there made me gag, turns out they had another ONE OF A KIND perfect couch. Two in fact. In a different leather and a different colour. That we liked. Both of us.

They also gave it to us for far less than we had originally paid and presented us with a refund cheque.

Here’s the truly awful part though. NO ARMCHAIR. I’m gutted. I’ve been dreaming of my armchair for days now. We got an ottoman instead but it’s not the same.

Beefcake says I can buy another armchair with all the money we got back from them. I’ll be trying to pull the mismatched couches and armchair look. I’m not sure about that. What if I fail to pull it off??

I’m kind of excited. We got to take the ottoman home with us. The rest will be delivered tomorrow.

I’m checking out armchairs.

The thing is, all this crap has really taken the gloss of the purchase for me. I mean, Beefcake and I went and found furniture we BOTH liked and we bought it. I got to spend money. Money we don’t normally have to spend.

It was meant to be an extra-special foray into consumerism. A chance to indulge my materialistic side.

Those arsehats ruined it. Now I’ll always have the almost perfect extra specially cheap couch, instead of the ONE OF A KIND perfect couch which was a super-indulgent once in a lifetime (ok realistically maybe decade??) purchase.


To top it off, Pudding became ill this afternoon and we spent so much time stuffing around with furniture today that Beefcake will be working all night.

(I know, this is a really self-indulgent, shallow post, oh well)

Edited to add: Beefcake just entered the room and said “Hmmm, I wonder what this feels like on a naked arse”, pulled his pants down at the back and bounced playfully on the ottoman a coupla times. I just stared in jaw-dropped, open mouthed horror. Eewwww.


3 responses

  1. Good thing that couch has wipability huh? :)

  2. There are no naked arses allowed on my sofa. Period. I don’t even let people sleep on my sofa. My sofa is the one nice piece of furniture in the entire house and I have developed an unnatural attachment to it. My mother just about died when she saw Bad puke on the sofa, and I just put him in a safe place and went to clean my sofa first – what? I knew that HE’d come clean!I’m sorry that you lost your beautiful sofa set, but I really prefer the unmatched look. Good luck finding an armchair!

  3. My head would have exploded. Poof! Gone.Pleased they offered the refund and the discount and all that jazz, but I agree, it’s not the point.

%d bloggers like this: