***THIS WILL BE A RANT, FEEL FREE TO STOP READING NOW***
Imagine you had a mother-in- law. Imagine you had a mother-in-law and she was a bit of a giant biyatch. Not in an all-around, “I’m just a crazy bitch” way but in more of a “I’m going to specifically target you because you stole my son and I have a weird obsession with him and also I am a narcissist” way. Imagine she was a loving and devoted grandmother, who really only had the best intentions but was sometimes a bit misguided in her grandmotherlyness.
That pretty much sums up MILFH. Also, there may be a touch of “I’m manipulative and domineering” thrown in there somewhere as well. So, she’s basically a total nightmare but she loves her grandkids and we keep seeing her to a minimum and it all goes okay along as we don’t hit any bumps in the road.
We hit a bump.
She called to talk to Beefcake about something or other a few days ago. They discussed his birthday, a family dinner scheduled for tonight and Christmas presents among other things. Yes, she had already organised Pudding’s Christmas gift, could she have some ideas for Rhubarb, Poss and Grub. Beefcake gave her some ideas for the other children and then inquired what exactly had been organised for Pudding.
A real drive-in electric car.
An extravagant toy for which we have no room. A toy, which he will love, but never be able to use because there is nowhere for him to drive it. Something completely impractical and just inappropriate for our 3yo. I know it was probably well-intentioned and it is probably a nice gift and grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandkids but it’s just not okay for us right now.
Beefcake kept silent and discussed it with me after he got off the phone. We decided that he would speak to her on his birthday so that it would be taken care of for the family dinner tonight and there would be no chance of any tension. Beefcake was predicting that she would be fine with it. I predicted a complete meltdown.
Guess who was being more realistic?
She went nutso. How dare he suggest that it was innappropriate. She would never dream of commenting on a gift someone had bought for her. She could have just given it to Pudding and then we would have had to have it. Beefcake tried pointing out that it would be rather annoying to receive a gift like that without being told and that she really should have asked us before she bought it. It didn’t go down well. Apparently we are unreasonable. I firmly believe we are not and, since this is not the first time she has bought a Christmas gift for one of our children that we couldn’t fit into our house, we felt it was time we said something.
She’s just so upset, she may have to arrange to have a special talk with him about how she’s been feeling lately. He’s just not attentive to her. He never spends time with his brother and sister. On and on and on. She started going wildly off-topic at this point, about his lack of involvement with family, his unfathomable intention NOT to spend his birthday with her etc, etc.
She’s lost the plot. How many men in their thirties, with four kids, does she think spend their birthday with their MUM. I mean, I’m sure lots of people get together with family on or around their birthday but I don’t think it’s reasonable to be outraged that he would spend his time with just us. WE ARE HIS FAMILY!!!
Wow, this is turning into quite the rant. Poor old Beefcake. He’s holding up well. This may be due to the fact that he couldn’t give a fuck but I feel for him. So, we have this dinner tonight. Last we heard, no venue had been finalised. She hasn’t called us. We’re assuming she’ll be “too upset” to have us come. Should we call and find out where it is and try to attend or just keep to ourselves?
My personal feeling is that we’re damned either way.