If there is anything more delightful than a vomiting, weak and dehydrated baby, then it is surely four other members of the family being struck down by the pestilence and becoming weak, dehydrated, vomitous masses of whinging and moaning.
It was particularly unfortunate that Beefcake, Pudding and Poss were hit within a few hours of each other. Does anyone remember the ‘vomitorium’ in the film ‘Stand By Me’? That’s what it was like. We were forced to call a doctor to come and give Beefcake an injection in the arse. There was just no other way we could manage the vomiting children and his vomiting all at once. I was fortunate enough to remain vomit-free, however I am still quite nauseous and there have been other side effects. Enough said.
Fortunately, all the lying around holding babies has meant some book reading time. Unfortunately, I chose the most annoyingly written book in the world. I will not name and shame here, let’s just say the term ‘writer’ should be used loosely when discussing this tense-switching, drivel-giving craptastician. I will persist, however, I rarely give up a book halfway through, I won’t let it win.
As a side note, why are husbands so intolerable when they are unwell? Beefcake has just informed me that he feels he has pneumonia. He has no reason to suspect this, no symptoms, just his unshakable husbandly wussiness. He can moan like no other. Man-gastro is waaaaaaaay worse than a man-cold. He also suggested he may have some form of cancer this afternoon. I’ll have to spend the next week convincing him that he is hale and hearty.
School goes back on Tuesday. I wish I felt more sad, I just can’t. I’m sure I’ll miss them a bit but thank fuck. We went during the week and spent an amount of money, too outrageously large to mention, buying the required school uniform for Rhubarb to begin High School. Seriously, I’m not really sure why a shirt with school logo is worth three times a plain white shirt. We are assured it is. He enjoyed his rowing camp, it seems, but came back even more grunty and monosyllabic as well as slightly sunburnt. It does not bode well for how the High School environment may impact upon his mood. I feel a bit sorry for the kids, actually. The weather is predicted to be over fourty on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday this week. School will be horrible. Better them than me.