- Your 10-year-old does not know who Ange and Brad are (or Posh and Becks for that matter) and cannot come up with a celebrity couple when asked to do so for HOMEWORK!!
- Your 13-year-old walks around singing an inappropriate (and unembedable*) song.
- You have tormented your children by inventing imaginary boyfriend/girlfriend for them. Rhubarb’s is named Ashlee-Lee, she is a redhead, she likes lip-gloss. Poss is dating an imaginary boy named Bevan. He is shy and has a passion for the dramatic arts.
- Your 3-year-old has taken to calling people ‘a fucking’, whenever he deems their behaviour to be less than ideal. For example, “Mummy, Rhubarb’s a fucking, he won’t play outside with me.” He also may or may not have used the term ‘arsehat’ in recent days. Nice.
- You let your 8-month-old play with a bottle of soft drink with a straw in it and she figured out how to use the straw and guzzled some sweet and fizzy before you realised. Awesome.
* Okay, this might be a word. Shut up.