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In which I prove how sad my life has become (alternate title: At least I'm not spending all of my time on facebook)

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I mentioned to Katyboo the other day that I believed that we in Australia have a superior selection of biscuits to that found in the UK. I believe she was quite shocked. From what I understand, she is quite the bickie aficionado and so I have taken it upon myself to show her the splendour that is Aussie biscuits.

Now, it’s a big claim, saying we have better biscuits, so I figured that I would be all scientific and check out Sainsbury’s selection. They seem like a reasonably comparable supermarket to our Coles or Woolies.

Sainsbury’s have grand total of 96 bickies in their online shopping catalogue. This is impressive. I hadn’t thought there would be quite so many, although there were an awful lot of digestives, shortbreads and bourbon creams, which by the way are as horrible as they sound (in my opinion). Now, the British people seem quite happy with their biscuit selection, they don’t know any better. They do have some token contributions from Oz in their supermarkets, the Anzac and the TimTam, for example. As Katyboo so eloquently pointed out, the TimTam tastes like a penguin. It is a most boring and revoulting biscuit (okay, that’s practically sacreligious to some people but there you have it) so I really don’t know why that’s our export of choice.

When I looked into Coles online catalogue, I found that they carry 169 different items in the sweet biscuit selection. This is without adding the masses of savoury biscuits, which you just can’t find elsewhere. More on that later. So, I thought I would run through ome of the best Australian biscuits, I’m sure the other Aussies out there will have their own opinions but I’m quite sure I’m right.

So, I went down to Woolies armed with my camera and shot this little video to give you an idea of the range of biscuits we have here (Yes, I am a real adult woman with four children to care for who has devoted a considerable amount of time to creating a blog post about biscuits. What?).

The biscuit aisle

Now let’s take a look at some favourites. First, to chocolate biscuits. This is an area where the UK seems to be sadly lacking. You can pretty much count on the jaffa cake and the chocolate digestive to be everywhere you turn but where’s the variety?

teevee

The Teevee snack, an arnotts favourite comes in original (pictured), malt sticks and wafer varieties. I’m addicted to them, there are 18 different shapes in a box. The original are my favourite, they are just lovely crunchy biscuits in dark chocolate but they are very special.

mintslice

The Mint Slice is a real icon. As you can see from the picture, it’s a plain chocolate biscuit, topped with mint icing and then covered in chocolate. They also come in Exotic Mandarin Slice, Cherry Slice, and Coconut Slice. Biscuity awesome. One of the first things we did when we we came home from the UK was buy ten packets.

Of course, choccie bickies have a natural advantage. Who would opt for chocolate free if given the choice? I think you’d be surprised.

tictocLet’s start with the iced Tic Toc. Now, this one is aimed at children but my goodness it’s fabulous. They are iced biscuits with an analog clock face on the plain side. The biscuit is soft and the icing is crisp and delicate. Pure joy, if you ask me. Yellow ones are best. Other exceptional kids biscuits include Hundreds and Thousands. They are pink with hundreds and thousands. There’s not much more that needs to be said really.

Now, I’m just going to add one more to the sweet biscuit category, we have many more, such as the Monte Carlo and the Squashed Fly, as you can see in the video, but there is one uniquely South Australian biscuit that must be mentioned. It can’t be purchased in the other states and I like to think that’s because the rest of Australia is just not good enough to be worthy of it. I’m talking of course, about the Yo Yo.

yoyo

The people on the ad for these when I was a kid used to sing about “butter, eggs, milk, honey” and “biscuits delicious, filling up dishes”. Beefcake and I still sing this song to each other. They are unlike any other plain biscuit. They are the gods of plain biscuits. They are divine.

Now, finally (and because as entertaining as I might be finding this, I’m sure most of you aren’t) I’ll quickly show you the savoury range:

bbqshapeNow, it could be argued that the BBQ shape is the king of the savoury biscuits. We have all of your usual crispbreads and crackers, but the real savoury biscuits that we missed while overseas, are the shapes. They come in a variety of flavours there is savoury (which I’ve never had because ‘savoury’ just doesn’t appeal), pizza and a variety of others. You can also get such a thing as a Chicken Crimpy, which despite the name, are quite moreish.

Now, you will have noticed that all of the biscuits are produced by the company Arnotts. There are other companies, including a rival range of shapes called “in a biscuit” (chicken in a biscuit, bacon in a biscuit etc) that includes the noteworthy Dixie Drumsticks but Arnotts biscuits are kind of the most iconic and recognisable as Australian and also, I’m lazy.

So, there you have it.

We have the best biscuits.The most, the best variety, the tastiest. When it comes to biscuits, we rock.

Quite scary really.

Both the number of biscuit varieties and the fact that I bothered to put this post together.

There is something wrong with me.

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11 responses

  1. So, you’re talking cookies, right?
    Biscuits to us are little round balls of bread that are totally delicious and I might as well just stick them, with butter as a glue, straight on my ass.
    I think you should do more videos. Lots and lots. But next time, have them kick you out of the store for filming. That would make great blog fodder!!!
    <3

    sherendipity’s last blog post… Wordless Wednesday

  2. Sher, yes, cookies, we have some that we call cookies too though, weird huh? Getting kicked out of the supermarket would be pretty awesome blog fodder, I agree. I might shoot you a video of proper Aussie “naytcha” like you asked for though!

  3. Excellent blog post. Well researched, great use of video and pictures. BUt damn your eyes for making me want to eat biscuits now. I never buy biscuits – it stops the children nagging for them as there’s nothing to nag for. I do make my own biscuits sometimes though. I feel a trip to Oz is in order for me to conduct my own research.

  4. The mint slice thingies kind of look like viscounts.

    If you think the UK is lacking in biscuits try Germany. It’s taken me nearly 3 years to even find jaffa cakes that taste right!

    bevchen’s last blog post… Money matters

  5. You are a star. That isn’t a waste of time woman. That’s a profitable day at the hard coalface of research. I applaud you and your biscuity goodness.
    It does sound brilliant. 168 kinds of biscuit. That’s immense.

    I have never really been tempted to visit Australia before but I may just have to stick it on the list now.

    I love your video in particular. Those biscuits go on for bloody miles.

  6. Hmmm….well you kind of lost me since I’m a Yank and all. But I have to admit those slice cookies did look pretty tempting…

    HeatherPride’s last blog post… Times, They Are A-Changin’

  7. Hmmm….I know nothing of Australian biscuits, but when I lived in London my boyfriend was a manager at McVitie’s, and his house (and car!) were always full of lovely biscuits. I will grant you, in the related chocolate category, that the Violet Crumble is much nicer than the Crunchie bars we have here.

    badness jones’s last blog post… How to catch a thief…

  8. HOM – Oh yes, you must come and sample all of the biscutis!

    Bev – Oh, poor you. I don’t think I could live under those conditions!

    Katyboo – All for you my dear. Perhaps I shall start a new tourism campaign for the discerning traveller, “a bickie tour of Oz”.

    Heather – Yeah, sorry. They are yum.

    Badness – We in Oz have both the violet crumble and the crunchie. Beefcake would be appalled, he is a crunchy devotee! You didn’t marry the McVitie’s guy! Are you insane?

    Ashlea – Yeah, I wasn’t gonna go into the whole scone thing. It’s all too much!

  9. I have to agree you are crazy. But I do love a good biccy

    Suzie’s last blog post… I Hate My Scale

  10. So much gluten laden goodness, I want to eat it all – NOW and to hell with the consequences!

  11. What the hell is this? I go gluten and dairy free and suddenly the Internet can’t shut up about how fabulous gluten and dairy rich foods are. To hell with you Internet! I’m off to have a corn thin. Sigh…

    tinsenpup’s last blog post… Grace In Small Things: 9 of 365

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