I am foul.
I am beastly.
I am a bitch.
I am experiencing some sort of hormonal surge. I believe it may be due to the impending return of my period. My boobs are killing me, in fact I believe something has caused blocked ducts in one as it is agony. I hate everyone. I mean loathe. I have yelled at every member of our family today, including the dog (except for the Grub of course because I am not some sort of inhuman monster* who goes around yelling at babies).
I had an argument with Beefcake while we were cooking dinner tonight. I knew I was being insane and he should have known that I am hormonal and if I am insane he should be agreeable and sweet and not arc up in response to my craziness. So really, it’s his fault and I am blameless. It was just an annoying bickering session about chilli and fat and nothing of consequence but I did have a little weep over placemats so emotions were running high.
I’m sure that this whole post is waaay too much information for most of you, which is fine, but I just need to come to grips with it a bit. Whilst there are positives. I don’t want my period back. It has been around 20 months since I last had one. This will likely be the last break I have from the relentless monthly hormonal roller coaster for DECADES!!! Waaaaahhh!
Beefcake has helpfully chimed in with the suggestion that I may be pregnant. He actually came home yesterday and said that while he was out he had been thinking about my moodiness etc and decided that was the logical conclusion. He then proceeded to tell me how nice he thought it might be to have five children. He is lucky to have made it out alive. I am not pregnant (or at least I bloody well hope not!)
I am making a list of things that are good about being all fertile and menstrually again. Raging hippy that I am. Here goes:
- I lose weight more easily and my weight is easier to maintain when I have periods – don’t know why, just is.
- We are not good with contraception. A menstrual cycle that I can track makes everything sooooo much easier until Beefy goes for the old “snip snip” (mwahahahaha), which should be really soon.
- Sometimes it’s fun to buy tampons. In the UK they only sell them in jumbo size, enough to last you for six months boxes but in Oz they come in an array of pretty little tins and packages that I think are fun to buy (small things, small minds).
- I have an excuse for being bitchy – that probably won’t work too well but I can try.
- I have at least one guaranteed day of being able to be looked after and have Beefcake feel sorry for me. One day of hot water bottles and pampering.
Okay, that’s it. I was really stretching it with those last two. Can anyone else think of any positives? From where I am sitting it’s all bad really.
Bah and humbug.
*This is a word, right? WordPress believes that it is not a word today. It is freaking me out because what if it really isn’t and I write a blog post including an imaginary word, the meaning of which only I grasp, and everyone thinks I’m a bit stupid??