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I'm a loser baby so why don't you kill me

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I have enrolled Pudding in the local kindergarten where he is due to start pre-entry in term four of this year, so October or something. Pre-entry involves just one half day per week of kindy time but the following term (in January) he will start  going to full-time (four half days) kindy.  As I mentioned before, we had been going to the playgroup at the nice Montessoriish school but to be honest I find that kind of boring. It is very small and there are not a lot of other kids for him to play with or parents for me to talk to.


Today we attended a playgroup at the kindy hoping that time there now will make the transition to kindy later in the year easier. I left Grub with Beefcake so that Pudding and I could have time together alone, something we rarely get.

First of all. The kindy playgroup was fantastic. Heaps of fun activities, lots of space to play, lots of kids of different ages from babies right up to Pudding’s age, lots of parents. It was nice. We played and painted and stenciled and made pies from playdough. He LOVED it, even more than the other playgroup, so I am sure we will be going every week from now on. It will be fine to take Grub as there were other children her age and even some we knew from other places. I think it will be great for all of us.

Particularly as it seems I am in dire need of some assistance with my social skills. I think playgroup, where I may be able to learn to hold normal conversations (ones where my foot resists the urge to lodge itself in my mouth) and make friends with other mothers who I like and who are normal, would be good.

From a me socialising perspective, playgroup did not go that well, can you tell?

First off, there was a Dad there who I knew (well I knew his kids, they are usually with their mum but I had seen him once or twice) from Pudding’s swimming class and I said hello and explained how I knew the children. That was fine. I felt all grown-up having grown-up conversations with grown-ups.  I think it gave me unwarranted confidence.

We sat down at the playdough table and were soon joined by a Mum and her daughter. We made small talk. It turns out they have only been in Australia four or five weeks. They have moved from the UK. She wanted to know all about how kindy works and I was happy to share.

This my friends, was my time to shine. I was rockin’ the small talk. I was asking about her family, normal things, how many kids? How old? Why did they move to Australia, was it for her work or her husband’s work? She explained that they had always wanted to move to Australia and just happened to find a job that was perfect for her “partner”. It was during this part of the conversation as she made gratuitous use of the word “partner” that I was thinking, oh, okay, they’re not married, that was a bit wrong of me to say “husband” as though everyone is married and…

Yeah, I am slow on the uptake.

It was about that time that she told me that actually, my partner,  she’s a woman.

Gee, I’m great. I mean, how much of the stereotypical middle-class housewife would you like me to be. I should have said partner. I am an ass and ask her about her “husband”. What a twat.

Through the course of the conversation it also comes out that she is a doctor.

I mutter something about once having had a career in something or other and she says “Oh your a ..” and I say “Uh, no, used to be but not since I was quite pregnant with Pudding.”



I am the boring, middle class, boring, assume everyonehasahusband moron.

I should not be allowed out in public.

Now, I know they have just signed a lease on a house in the area. The chances are that the kids will be going to playgroup and then to  kindy together. I will probably have to see this Mum quite a bit and she will have to see me. It’s dumb, I rarely meet Mums who I like. I only have one or two friendships formed because of the children.  I liked this Mum and then I act like a bumbling idiot. I am a social moron. She probably went home and told her partner about the moron housewife she met at playgroup. I suck. Beefcake says he’s pretty sure it’s a common assumption seeing as she is at a playgroup with her child. It’s not just the assumption that I made though. The conversation just left me feeling like a stupid, boring loser. It wasn’t her fault, she was very nice about it but now I think she’ll probably avoid me like the plague.

Alternatively, it is possible that I have blown the whole incident out of proportion in my anxiety-ridden mind and am just a touch hormonal and mental.

What say you?


14 responses

  1. I think it was probably a much bigger deal to you than it was to her. I mean, you didn’t tell her she was going to go to hell for being a lesbian or anything, did you? ;)

    • I reckon you are right. I did manage to avoid condemning her to damnation so I should be pleased really, I suppose.

  2. I think it’s a perfectly natural assumption to make and I bet she wasn’t offended at all.

    And hey, at least you managed to make small talk. With a stranger as well. I have no social skills whatsoever and am totally incapable of striking up a conversation with someone I don’t know. Wjich is probably why so many people think I’m rude or antisocial or possibly both.

    bevchen’s last blog post… In which I prove I’m British by talking about the weather… again

    • I was very proud of myself yesterday actually. I went out and made small talk with strangers AND made phone calls of an organisational nature. I was on fire.

  3. Hey, don’t beat yourself up about it. I am sure that she is waiting for the next playgroup to catch up with someone normal again. Within weeks she will be asking you over to share a bottle of wine as the kids play together.

    del’s last blog post… Rewards

    • You’re right, of course. I will now go off and beat myself up for being melodramatic and anxious -that’s not any better, is it?

  4. Thank you. I suspect you are right. I would settle for a nice chat at playgroup.

  5. Yes, easy mistake to make I suppose.

  6. I wouldn’t worry about it, unless of course next week she goes out of her way to avoid you like the plague.

    This stuff is so confusing for everyone…I remember when my Boy was born, the hospital didn’t even take for granted we were married. Yes, there was a man with me, but I’m sure in their minds, they didn’t DARE assume we were married. If I remember correctly, I think someone even asked, and we were like “yah, we’re married” in a tone that so said “DUH”. But I’m sure they had gotten schooled on more than one occasion.

    Antoinette Meaterson’s last blog post… OMG TWICE IN A WEEK…Slow down girl

    • Yeah, you’re right actually. It’s a confusing thing. I’m sure I’ve just been being dumb and paranoid!

  7. i think the other mom probably understands, i’m sure you aren’t the first person that made that assumption. plus, it sounds like maybe you’ve found a new mom to connect w/ and that’s a good thing. don’t sell yourself short!!!

  8. I reckon she probably adores you – and went home and told her partner that she met a great woman at kindy today!

    If it helps any, I’m worse. I met a woman under pretty much the same circumstances, and felt obliged to tell her how much I love lesbians. All my friends are lesbians, I wish I was a lesbian, etc…

    Far, far worse than what you did. And for the record, we’re still friends :)

  9. Oh, I know well the aftertaste of foot-in-mouth. I’m also one to beat myself up. That being said, I don’t think you should beat yourself up! I hope that you’ll have a chance to have a new and improved encounter with her soon.

    alejna’s last blog post… mmmm: some comments on commenting

  10. She’s at playgroup with her child, it’s perfectly normal to assume there’s a husband in the mix. She’s new to the country, new to you, there’s no way you could know her partner is a woman. So don’t feel bad at all. At least now you do know and if you see them together you won’t have that “scrape jaw off the ground” shock moment.

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