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It's been one of those weeks that we just shouldn't talk about

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I’ve written a few posts this week but when it came time to take the big leap and press the publish button I just, well, couldn’t.

It feels as though I should have something monumental to say.

This was the week that saw me finally tell my mother that I would not be around for her anymore. I just reached the end of my tether.

It should have been a big drama. It should have created big emotional turmoil for me. Or something.

I do feel a quiet kind of sadness that comes from knowing what our relationship has come to but I know. I know that it is what needs to be right now. Maybe not forever but for now.

So I haven’t been able to blog anything this week. Just because.

—————-

Yesterday was blood test/x-ray day. They took two bajillion viles of blood (they were fasting bloods I might add so I was already dizzy prior to the event) and tried to peer under my skin from all sorts of angles. The x-rays were just of my hands and wrists for the moment. They hurt very badly these days – meaning I literally can’t scratch myself. My hands being as they are was the deciding factor in getting a doctor to pay attention, I think. There are days when it is extremely painful to type.

It is great knowing that we might finally get some answers to what the heck is actually going on with my stupid bod. On the other hand I am terrified that they will not find anything. If they don’t find anything I don’t know what I will do.

—————-

We were waiting in the car today, Grub, Pudding and I. Beefcake had to just whiz into the bank for a minute. Pudding spied a shaft of light  refracted through some glass. The rainbow it created on my car seat excited him, as rainbows always do.

Pudding: “It’s a rainbow Mummy, look, look!”

Me: “Ooh yes that’s lovely”

Pudding: “Muuuum, you’re not looking at it, look at it now, it’s changing, look, LOOOOOk!!!”

Me: “Yes Pudding, it’s a lovely rainbow.”

Pudding: “Mummy, is there a unicorn buried in your chair?”

Me: “????, ummmm, is there a unicorn buried in my chair?”

Pudding: “Yes, they bury gold in there, is he in there burying the gold under the rainbow in your chair?”

Beefcake now back: “You mean a leprachaun?”

Pudding: “Yeeeess (much eye rolling), a lepacon. Mummy is he IN YOUR CHAIR??!”

Me: “Ah yes, there’s a leprachaun buried in my chair, Pudding.”

——————

Both kids have had a slight temp again the last couple of days. Grub’s temp was 40 degrees when I got her out of bed after her nap.

I’m really hoping that’s all over tomorrow.

Now it’s time for a glass of wine. Oh yes indeed.

————

Ooh perhaps you can help- female 40th birthday presents. I have a friend’s party to go to on Saturday and I am a terrible gift buyer. Any suggestions?

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9 responses

  1. oh, what a week

    I could sort of help you with the present though…I’ve been giving recipe books (being on the 40th birthday circuit myself). Or a bottle of bombay sapphire.
    .-= ThirdCat´s last blog ..Good things =-.

  2. I always appreciate book tokens, which is sad but true. Otherwise I am fairly hopeless. A fake moustache in a box?
    See. i told you I was crap.
    Good on you re your mum by the way. Must have been tough.xx

  3. It must have been so difficult for you to assert yourself to your mum. There is always that feeling of waiting it out and hoping it’ll all change and she’ll be exactly the mum you’ve always needed. But alas, I’m glad you are doing what feels right.

    Diagnoses are bitter sweet. Knowing is one step towards treatment, but sometimes knowing means accepting the truth and that can be tough!

    I love that unicorns and lepacons live in your seat! I love that kids are still so sweet and innocent.

    I’ve got nothing regarding birthday gifts… heck, I can barely figure out something for my own spouse.
    .-= Hyphen Mama´s last blog ..4 words that force you to change your life =-.

  4. Thinking of you. Sending wishes of a fun and fever free weekend.
    As for the birthday present – how about a booking for a pedicure and bottle of wine for you both to enjoy!
    .-= del´s last blog ..Grumpy Old Troll =-.

  5. One of those weeks you just need to end I think.

    ((hugs))

    (Also, writing this comment I have the strangest sense of deja vu. Odd)
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Sick, but feeling okay. =-.

  6. I think you should buy two bottles of gin, one as a gift for the 40th and one to drink, god it sounds like a horrible week. (Unicorns and rainbows aside!)
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..Stella is six months old! =-.

  7. Sorry about your rough week. But “leapcon?” Too cute! As for gift ideas…I think the pedicure is a good idea.
    .-= Leslie´s last blog ..The Woman Who Hates Me =-.

  8. Find out her favourite department store and give a gift card for that. Attach it to a box of her favourite choccies.
    Hope the wrists feel better soon, not being able to type is not good when you’re a blogger.
    I wish a “lepcon” would bury some gold in my chair.

  9. Oh Ali! I’m pleased that you’re protecting yourself from your Mum (and all that that involves), but I’m so sorry that you’ve gone through this alone.

    Good luck with the bloods..

    And for a 40th? A good bottle of champagne, a groovy scarf or necklace or a funky bag might be nice. xoxo
    .-= Fe´s last blog ..*bang* =-.

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