I haven’t been able to even open my laptop really for the past few days. It felt as though opening it would open my world to the babble of all those voices. That I would have to respond. That I would have to say something of my own. I still haven’t decided how to choose which parts I am able to share and which I just am not.
I am very relieved and happy to say that my Mum did not return to live with my father.
I wish that I could say that she has stayed away because she has finally broken free, that she will never go back. She says that this is the case but it has been such a long road that I will need some time before I can trust it.
His state of mind continued to deteriorate.
I can’t or won’t (I’m not sure which) go into the details of it. A friend told me that it is all so bizarre and dramatic that you couldn’t make it up. That’s true but there is nothing funny or light hearted that I can pull out of all that tangled mess.
It took many years for me to realise that I need not carry shame for who he is, for the things that he has done. I feel so angry that he has invaded my life with that shame again. I can’t write the things that he has done and that infuriates me.
Thankfully it all finally came to a head and he was arrested and subsequently placed in a secure facility. Not before terrorising many people. Actually, it was the fact that he finally did something overtly threatening to a stranger in a public place and commited petty theft that got him arrested. Without that perhaps it would still be going on.
Despite repeated calls (from many different sources) ACIS have continued to buy all of his manipulative bullshit. To them he is a nice, if unwell, man who hasn’t been supported properly by his family. One member of the team actually told her that “it’s a recipe for disaster leaving him alone like that”, whilst they were inspecting the damage he had done to the house. Because it’s her fault. Naturally. When a violent alcoholic psychopath is threatening to kill you, you stay and care for them.
She was granted a restraining order today.
She has a lawyer.
It looks like he will be in a secure facility for some time yet.
We are slowly getting my Mum convinced of how to proceed. She is shell shocked. She is traumatised. She has been abused for so long that it will take her a long time to see things clearly.
She is alive, though, and I am just holding my breath that she will stay away. I hope he’s done enough now that she will never go back.