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Hopeless cloth nappy hunting addict

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I have been spending waaaaay too much time hunting for little  nappy icons. I can’t help myself, this is my fourth hunt and once you start it’s very easy to become hooked.

I am neglecting all of my other duties. My children are getting around unwashed and unfed (well, not quite but it’s just lucky I have Beefcake). I have sore swollen hands from click, click, clicking my mouse looking for that tiny nappy. It is not compatible with arthritis.

Speaking of arthritis, I had my Rheum appointment. As I suspected would be the case, my x-rays showed a normal pelvis. Okay, not normal exactly but there were no signs of arthritic change. You can see marked asymmetrical separation of the pelvic bones, which I suppose is a validation of sorts but it didn’t stop me from bursting into tears. If there is nothing concrete to treat then my problem remains untreatable, you see. I feel desperately low at the thought of having to go on like this indefinitely. I feel very lucky that my Rheum takes my pain very seriously.

The plan of action is as follows:

  • Stay on arthritis drug that hasn’t yet worked as it still may start to have an effect.
  • Have an MRI to have a better look at my pelvis.
  • Have steroid injections into the joints of my pelvis – this should (in theory) really help.
  • Start a new and very toxic (actually used for chemotherapy) drug to see if that also helps.

It feels good to have a plan in place but I am also a bit sad. The new drug is most definitely not compatible with breastfeeding. I have allocated two weeks to wean Grub before I start taking it. She is doing ok. She is at two feeds a day and so far I have been able to put her off when she asks for other feeds. I am trying to drop the first thing in the morning feed but I have to admit that I am struggling. I keep looking into her sweet face and thinking there are so very few feeds left. I don’t want to tell her no. I know it’s best to gradually wean over these two weeks but I actually feel like I want to fit in as many feeds as possible before it comes to an end. That must sound so silly but she is my last baby and…… I will miss it.

Well, because I am now bawling I think that’s all I have to say.

There are still nappies to find.


10 responses

  1. Hugs. There really isn’t much I can say that you don’t already know. Enjoy your last feeds, Grub will always need her mum and hopefully soon will have a more mobile and pain free mum. Good luck with the new med plans.
    .-= del´s last blog ..Sheep Stations =-.

  2. I can’t imagine how horrible it must be to not be able to label your pain and treat it accordingly. As for weaning, well I really do understand the emotional aspect. Be brave.

  3. Marked separation? UM, OUCH?!
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..I didn’t mean to do it. =-.

  4. Hugs.

    And on the bright side, think of all the attractive underwear you can wear when you are no longer breastfeeding :)

    Ok, it’s not much, but I tried!
    .-= Lara´s last blog ..And the tune is quite catchy too. =-.

  5. Oh I completely sympathise. My last-born weened himself at 9 months and I was devastated, I thought I’d have another year with him at least. Big hugs to you.
    .-= Stomper Girl´s last blog ..Here I go again. =-.

  6. I’m so sorry you have to wean your sweet little girl before you’re both ready. She needs you to suffer less too though and what an amazing job you do every day to look after all your babies.
    .-= tinsenpup´s last blog ..Of Childhood Nightmares, Blood and Psychic Dead Kittens =-.

  7. Oh sweetie.

    No words, just thinking of you.

    Mucho suckage.

  8. I’m so sorry. I’m glad your doc is supportive, if stumped. I’m so sad for you at having to wean before you’re ready. I had to wean my 14 month old at 8 mths because she start biting (and biting, and biting). I’m still not over it as she is probably our last.

    Keep googling for diapers and for pelvic answers. They must both be out there somewhere!!
    .-= Alison´s last blog ..Let Us Prey =-.

  9. I’m so sorry.
    I think I would have cried too.

    I used to love the nappy hunt. I miss my cloth nappies.
    .-= tiff´s last blog ..Of the talented kind. =-.

  10. I’m a big worried about all of your silence, my dear. I so hope everything is okay.

    btw: I’ve just given you some bloggy-love over on xoxo
    .-= Fe´s last blog ..Bloggy love… =-.

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