Everybody who reads here knows that my body is a motherfucker.
If there is an opportunity to develop a problem then my body is right there saying “me please, I want that!” to whoever it is that dishes out the unpleasant medical conditions.
As annoying as my body is, I’ve always felt pretty confident that it wouldn’t put it’s hand up for anything really scary. You know, nothing that would put me in imminent danger. More than pretty confident. I feel like it’s the unwritten law of my shitty body. Unpleasant, annoying, painful, possibly somewhat disabling, even mildly dangerous – like the recent enormous ovarian cyst which might have taken most of my ovary with it, had it exploded (or that time my appendix exploded) but nothing that’s actually going to kill me.
It’s a sort of cosmic law. I’ll endure all of this crap and in return the body won’t go volunteering for anything that could kill me.
I don’t want to have RA or FM or stupid loose bits but they are a small price to pay.
A bit over a week ago, my boobs got sore. For the right boob it was the usual once a month boob soreness. The left boob developed the soreness a little bit early and when it should have been subsiding, it just kept on going.
Mastitis, I decided.
The first round of antibiotics did approximately NOTHING. I had a bit of wishful thinking that it might be a bit less swollen, a bit less lumpy, a bit less purple. I was kidding myself.
Yesterday, I went back to the doctor to decide on our next move. She did a proper boob exam. I can’t even stand to wear a bra so having her touch all the hurty fell somewhere between setting my boob on fire and stabbing myself in the boob.
She repeated her feeling that mastitis in a non-breastfeeding woman is weird. Which was helpful.
She told me that the worst case scenario was an abcess and in her next breath told me she was recommending an ultrasound and biopsy of my breast.
She doesn’t want to say it outright but she is shitting herself just as much as I am.
These antibiotics WILL work in the next 24-48 hours because if this persists any longer than that I will have worked myself into such a frenzy courtesy of Dr Google that I may decide that home breast removal is the best option.
P.S. I think I like the word boob. I used the word boob(s) 9 times(including the 2 times I used it just then). Maybe because it’s a palindrome, something about a palindrome is very satisfying to my brain. Also, I think it’s a nice rounded word, it’s looks a bit like actual boobs.