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Burning down the house (actually microwave but house sounds way more dramatic and it’s a song so I’m going with house)

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I use heat packs a lot to manage my pain. They allow me to use less pain medication and, since no bastard will prescribe me anything for muscles spasm (when they have it’s helped a lot), they help a bit to relieve the horrible, muscle spasms that are a big part of my life. This means that some days are just endless rounds of reheating my rice-filled socks in the microwave.

Being so well used, the rice in my heat packs tends to dry out over time. We replace them fairly regularly but inevitably, there are one or two filled with dry, brittle rice grains.

Last night after dinner, Beefy took my heat packs to be done in the microwave. Gecko needed help with something in the toilet (as you do when you’re 3) so he was in there for a few minutes when he noticed a strange noise. He yelled for Poss to check the microwave and at first she thought it was fine because she didn’t actually look (as you do when you are 12). When she had a proper look Beefy says he heard a panicked “Ah, Daddy, the microwaves on fiiiire!!”.

Beefy raced in and was able to blow out the flames (note to me: Buy fire blanket). He dumped the offending heat packs in the sink and doused them with water then turned to survey the soot covered microwave.

You know that metal plate that is on the wall of a microwave? Well, that plate was very soot covered but more worryingly, when he poked it, a hole, about the size of a ten cent piece, collapsed into the side wall. The metal plated had been charred so badly that it just crumbled away. We think there must have been something actually really wrong with the microwave, or the socks just caught on fire because it wasn’t spinning properly. Either way, this was the result:

So, Beefy’s probably dying of deadly microwave radiation exposure or something and also we needed a new microwave. Very bad timing for me as I had delayed my visit to the GP too long and ended up not being able to get an appointment until Monday afternoon (pain med rationing) and also I had my usual close-to-being-in-labour-style pain/bleeding like I’ve been disemboweled monthly torment so I REALLY needed my heat packs. Really, really.

Last night was not the funnest night ever and today we had to venture out to the land of the giant W to find the cheapest non-ugly microwave we could find. The decision was easy as there was only one microwave that was so deep that the front legs would hang over the designated microwave shelf. We, being entirely ourselves, decided there was no other microwave that would suit.

Still, t’would not be our kitchen if it were lacking in dodgy, botchy home finishes. A few swipes of a circular saw to some spare kicker and we had our solution. See those black boards that are supporting the legs? Not too obvious in this photo (thanks Beefy) but in real life they are tres chic.

This may seem like a pretty annoying, money-draining adventure but actually I’m quite pleased. Not just because that microwave was always annoying but because there was a major family property-destruction fuck-up in which I was only a minor player. Totally not my fault, really at all. That almost never happens people. I am still utterly exhausted, though.

So, how was your weekend? Oh, except all of you NNB2011 people, I’m not interested in your weekend, I’m sure it was really boring anyway, *sob*.


3 responses

  1. I did wonder how you’d killed the microwave. I’ve been through a few heat packs myself in my time, but have yet to set fire to one. I’m young though, right? :D

    Hope you get the drugs soon. Hope you get some relief soon. Thinking of you always, as you know.

  2. I have to say that I am talented enough to also set a microwave on fire. If I am being honest, it has happened more than once. The kids have also managed to set a bowl of porridge to crunchy charcoal in the microwave when making breakfast – they forgot to add milk or water!
    I hope that your new microwave heats your packs to help you make it to your next GP visit.

  3. Oh dear. Well I haven’t set anything on fire recently, but we’re STILL moving. And we’re all feeling a little unstable now and that awful mouldy house just makes me sick (literally), so I can dream of throwing a match as long as I don’t actually do it, right?

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